How do you say “No” with Finesse?

Unexpectedly, this is my week for “word” blog posts.

This morning, I received a call from my dear  friend Doris telling me how much I helped her cousin. My Blue Brain loves helping others, but I was a bit confused.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“That does not work for me!” Doris exclaimed. “You taught me those 6 words years ago.I shared them with my cousin, who was having an issue with a client, and they worked!”

“Glad I could be of help.” I replied.

Not surprisingly, I began thinking about the words we use. Saying “No” can be a very Green Brain, abrupt, precise response, which usually cause a negative reaction. However, using Orange Brain Persuasive Skills combined with  Yellow Brain Polite Manners creates “Finesse”.

“Finesse” is not a commonly used word today. I love its soft sounds and how it slide off my tongue. It actually enacts its definition. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary , the noun “Finesse” was first used in 1520. Its origin comes from Middle French finesse “fineness” and”subtlety,” from Old French fin “subtle” and “delicate”. The verb “Finesse” was first used  1746, originally as a term related to “finessed” and “finessing”.

Next time you need to say “No” use some “Finesse”. Delicately and subtly say, “That does not work for me.”

Please, share your ideas and how you effectively say “No” with “Finesse”!

BrainBoost your Brain Power by contacting me or with the links in the right-hand side column of this page! Please, remember that 10% of the royalties from the sale of my books is allocated to JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation).



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  1. Laurie Buchanan on April 3, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    Sheila – I love this and I’m going to use it – THANK YOU!

  2. sheila on April 4, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    My pleasure Laurie! 🙂

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